Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Say Thank You To Your Doorknobs

If you're looking for something WoW related right here, I suggest skipping this article. Fair warning, this one is for me. You don't even have to read it, I just want to share. I would quote some line about "all work and no play", but WoW isn't really work and this wasn't really play, so just deal with. You've been warned.

If I've piqued your interest, please read on, I'll try to make this interesting :-).

So I've been puzzling real hard on my Cast Sequence and how to macro'ize it, but I tend to do normal things like eat lunch sometimes as well. So as I was returning from lunch, I did what every normal person does before getting back to work after lunch: I decided to use the restroom. I mean you can't very well focus with a full bladder right?

So I saunter on into the public restroom facilities at my place of employment, and the door is propped open by a common three ring binder. I think nothing of it, the actual porcelain is kept around the corner, so its not like my privacy is in jeopardy. I'm just gonna go up and do my business and continue struggling with this darned cast sequence (or work, depending on how motivated I am or who is waiting at my desk). Another gentleman enters behind me an kicks the binder out of the door. Apparently a corner is not enough for his peace of mind. That is fine, its not like he turned a locked the door or anything creepy. I can understand why someone would want the door shut. No big deal.

I finish the task at hand, so to speak, and go finish the public restroom ritual by washing my hands. I grab a paper towel from the automatic paper towel dispenser that is just supposed to sense when you're there, but never really works quite right. I towel off and toss the waste in the bin and turn to exit the facilities when I notice...


That's right, the doorknob has been clean removed from this particular door. There is no other door to this restroom mind you, just this one. Keep in mind, doorknobs have been around for a while, they are not a new convenience. We did not just invent them. As such, perhaps we take for granted each door being equipped with an appropriate knob. So, as any other rational person would do at that moment, I have a miniature panic attack: WTholyF is happening here? Am I stuck? Why is there NO KNOB?!

/Deepbreath 1, 2, 10

I guess I'm just going to have to stick my finger in this finger sized hole where the knob used to be, and shimmy this rig open. Yeah, finger in public restroom doorknob hole AFTER washing my hands... However, it is my only way out. Luckily, the binder was kicked on the inside of the exchange, so I jimmy-rigged it back open as it was. Whew! The other fellows in the room who were anxiously watching my progress and I look at each other and chuckle a bit, relieved. Wash hands again... good to go.

Now, we wouldn't have been stuck forever, there was no real danger. I want to assure you of this, reader, because I'm sure you were worried. However, if you have ever been a male in a public restroom (hopefully of the correct variety), you know it is not exactly the friendliest place to be stuck. One does not chat in there, it is a place of business. You go in, do your job and leave. There is no loitering in the men's room. We may run a hand through our hair, but that is about it. Being stuck in a men's room with a couple other complete strangers is not exactly a pleasant experience. This isn't to say anyone was particular upsetting in there, just... what do you say? Its like if an elevator breaks and you're stuck in there for three hours with people you can't relate to: you just want OUT. I'm no germophobe, but stick me in a public restroom for 5-10 minutes and I want OUT.

/sigh All's well that ends well or something.

I guess the moral of this story: Don't take the doorknobs in your life for granted, one day they may up and leave you.

Also, can you imagine the thoughts of the guy who actually pulled that handle off?


  1. Apparently you've never been stuck in there with the right strangers.

  2. My goodness, you're life is just an amazing assortment of bizarre incidences...(sp?)

  3. You're telling me, live with the guy!