Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Warlocky Economy Buffs

I've seen a small bump in the number of gold making/saving posts out there recently. Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like Azeroth may be going through some economic downtimes. Therefore, I wanted to point out some ways that Warlocks could help support the flagging economy.
  • Kill critters - Though they are generally worthless, what you don't know is that you're providing jobs. Jobs in the form of whoever cleans those little bodies up all the time. They have to be paid at least minimum wage. It's Azerothian Law.
  • Conserve Resources - Buy some of that new Nelf Spice Hair, Body, and Minion Wash. Reduce your time in the shower. Since we all know that time equals money. If you can lather all the important things up in one fel swoop... you're saving money, and resources.
  • Go green - Fel flame every tree you can. It'll help make building roads faster. And roads help stimulate trade.
  • Ride a hybrid - Keep your aggro as high as possible to encourage those classes with multiple talent trees to do those other jobs more efficiently. I think they're called tanks and healers. Apparently, sometimes they need just a little extra encouragement.
  • Flame the Bribe Initiative - Has there ever been a more blatant example of wasteful developer spending? This is pork at its worst. Set the pork on fire. Turn it into bacon. Mmmm.
  • Recycle Souls - Harvest them whenever possible. It's terrible, the amount of soul litter around Azeroth. People just tossing their souls off their mounts as they ride by. There ought to be a fine. Until then, take matters into your own hands. Collect and redistribute to those in need. Soulfiring a Mage is a great way to recycle. It's fun too!
  • Wear a Robe - Other armor is expensive to produce. Cloth drops from everything. This one should be a no-brainer. Plus, it breathes.
  • Reuse Excess Healing - Life Tap often. Those odd classes that fling helpful spells at you? Yeah, they have tons of spirit, so their mana is constantly refilling. Unlike yours. Help them out with their waste while keeping them employed. It's really a win/win. They get to heal and you get to kill more. Bonus points for standing in a fire, because then you look really badass.
  • Stock up on CC - You can fear a sheep many times, but you can only kill it once. At least that's what my Grand-lock used to say. There's gotta be a pearl of wisdom in there somewhere. I mean, dude was old. You survive that long messing around with demons, you're doing something right.
  • Summon More - Yanking things from the nether is, like, free. Plus demons destroy stuff, which (you guessed it) creates jobs!
  • Simply Kill Moar! - Gravedigger is a lucrative job. Increase the supply to create a demand for this noble profession. Especially during Children's Week, there should be plenty of opportunity. Every orphan you kill is one less mouth to feed, and one less burden on the State. Plus, maybe they get brought back as an Undead or a Death Knight, which is also recycling. Just sayin'.
So, invest in a Warlock. We won't be swayed by petty things like compassion, duty, honor, or charity. You can rest assured knowing your wealth is being preserved through the finest, most self-serving activities. Put your coin <.< ... >.> in good hands. Roll a Warlock today.

No comments:

Post a Comment