Friday, January 28, 2011

The Happy Couple

The slap spun Fulguralis around. One moment he was watching a rather attractive Paladin land amidst the chaos, and the next he was staring at a very sympathetic looking Valentis. Nevermind that the Druid had been behind him.

"Where have you been?" Fuubaar wanted to know, hands on hips.

Fulguralis turned back around to face his wife. It was not exactly the reunion he was hoping for. Yet what was a Warlock to do? He'd been nearly killed... twice, he had long since lost all sense of the passage of time, and he'd been drinking. How in the fel was he going to explain anything to his apparently very pissed of wife?

So he took a different route and said, "Honey, you're drunk."

Stars bloomed, and once more Fulguralis found himself with an eyeful of Gilnean. He scowled and rubbed his stinging cheek. A deep breath should help before turning around.

"I'll just ah... I mean, it seems as if you two have quite ah... There's really a smashing... over," Valentis stammered, pointing in all sorts of directions.

"You stay where you are Gilnean," Fuubaar roared. "I'll get to you next. And I only feel tipsy."

"Right then, tipsy, of course. Wouldn't have suggested otherwise," Valentis replied, voice cracking.

Fulguralis slowly turned to face his wife. "Leave Valentis out of this," he said, throwing both his hands up in anticipation of an incoming arm. The blow didn't fall.

"Valentis?" Fuubaar said with wonder. "You're Valentis?"

"Guilty as charged ma'am," the Gilnean replied happily, stepping forward to stick out a hand. "And you must be Fuubaar. I've heard so much, and I must say, you're beauty exceeds all tales. It truly is a pleasure."

Fuubaar eyed the Druid suspiciously.

"May I," he continued, pointing at a vague area off to the side where some of the Wildhammer Dwarves were peeking over a retaining wall.

Fuubaar rolled her eyes and waved him away. He nearly shapeshifted and flew, but somehow managed a semi-casual, stuttering walk. The Paladin returned slightly cooled eyes to her husband.

"I was told in a dream there would be a Valentis," she admitted. "Well, rather, a sort of dream," she shrugged. "I think Ysera had something to do with it. She's been meddling around a lot more recently."

"I'd noticed," Fulguralis responded wryly.

"Why did you leave me?" Fuubaar asked. "Why desert me for months and then show up just to... didn't you die?"

Fulguralis shifted uncomfortably, "Um, I don't really know. There was Arthas, then my minions woke me up to find a wolf staring at me, then I went chasing you to Stormwind and there was an invasion of elementals and that huge dragon, and I'm pretty sure I died several times in there, but Ysera said..." he trailed off. "What year is it?" he finished suddenly.

Fuubaar's face softened further with each subsequent explanation. "We did that whole thing at the Frozen Throne almost a year ago," she noted.

Fulguralis held up a few fingers and did some mental calculating. "A whole year?" he asked. "Man, to me it seems like it all just went by in like a month, maybe two. There are a lot of blank spots in there."

"Why didn't you come find me right away?" Fuubaar pressed.

"I went to the manor first, no one was there!" Fulguralis said.

Fuubaar looked down at the ground, "I haven't been back there since... well, I just couldn't."

"There were new curtains up," Fulguralis noted. "They were... mage colored."

A hopeful gleam sparked in his wife's eye, "That sounds like my mother. It couldn't be, could it? I thought everyone had died."

"Deathwing really did do a number on things didn't he," Fulguralis said soberly. "The manor still stands, though. Speaking of, I seem to remember that you'd joined the Twilight Cult," he accused.

The Paladin waved him off, "It was undercover work. SI:7."

"Of course," Fulguralis nodded. There was an awkward pause. "That locket," he started again, "well, I found out it was your..."

"My father's," Fuubaar interrupted. "I know. You could have asked."

"You were being so... weird," Fulguralis argued.

"Arthas stole a lot from me," Fuubaar explained with an edge. "But he's gone now, and it seems that we've got larger problems to focus on."

"Your father was..." Fulguralis began to explain.

"Killed again," Fuubaar filled in. "Yeah. But mom could still be kickin' it, right? Just have to trust in the Light. Things will work out," she said.

Fulguralis shrugged, "Sure."

"Let's get back to the manor and leave them a note or something," Fuubaar suggested. "They're probably all out looking for you too." She stepped up to him and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"That's it?" the Warlock asked. "I sacrifice myself for you and return from the dead and that's all I get?"

Fuubaar grinned mischievously. "There's more where that came from," she whispered in a sultry voice. Then added, "Besides, people are watching. What kind of girl do you take me for?" She cocked her head back over her should.

Fulguralis followed her gesture. Valentis and seven Dwarves were staring unabashedly from behind the retaining wall. The Gilnean lurched to a start when he noticed the Warlock's gaze sweep their way.

"Now you will want to observe the road here, and, ah, you - yes, you look right full of beans - you'll want to leg it up there for a good view, and perhaps you two can go an' filch some supplies as well. We're won't always be able to blooming bail you out, you know," Valentis lectured with grand sweeping gestures in an overly loud voice. "And, ah, you may want to take a gander at that dwelling too - No, that one right there... Yes - there could be some food stuffs in there and, well... Bob's your uncle."

The Dwarves all stared blankly at the Gilnean. Finally, one piped up, "Let's go an' get summore ale."

All seven grunted out various forms of agreement. They stood up and filed off in a line, whistling as they went away. Valentis casually strolled back to the couple.

"Well, I chivvied them along right nice, didn't I," he announced.

Fulguralis patted the Druid on the back, "You sure did. Let's get out of here."


  1. Looks like you just got beat in a duel by a girl ;-)

  2. The real reason he got slapped.