Tuesday, July 10, 2012

With All Due Respect, Rivs...

Rivs and I do this every couple of lunar cycles. He says mages are cool, I correct him. The Legion keeps on Burning.

(On a serious note: I'm a fan of River's intent: Gotta stoke the ole Mage/Lock fires every now and then. Some rivalries never get old. And, to be fair, it seemed a slow news day. I mean, we're talking about attunements again. Attunements. So, instead...)

10 Reasons Mages Are More Awesome Than Warlocks. A Rebuttal.

10. Demonic Portal – Seeing tons of people beating on thin air that was previously you is pretty damn cool.
9. Summoning – Ripping people from one location to where you desire them, way better than hopping through to some smelly "city." Like anything of note happens there.
8. Cookies – Much easier to pop in your mouth, no sitting required. Also, cookies are perhaps the most versatile form of food. Could go with a plain vanilla wafer if you're old school, or the more recent Cataclysmic Oreo of Doom. That's two chocolatey circles of black doom, one creamy soul filling.
7. Minions – They talk back, but we force them to do our bidding anyway. Elementals are for the slow of mind (Like dear Watson). Witty comebacks help you cast spells faster. It's magic science.
6. Damage – Don’t need a pet to do that.
5. Soulsteal – Ever steal a soul? 'Nuff said.
4. Fel Armor – Because dead things don't hurt.
3. Keybinds – 9 out of 10 Admirals' daughters prefer numerous nimble fingers in a lover.
2. We’re hotter – We can actually set ourselves on fire. So how is this a contest again?
1. The Nether – It's rough having a whole 'nother dimension at your beckon call.
0. You can find warlocks lurking in the cellars of taverns. Mages lock themselves in their pretty towers. Fun fantasy fact: Graceful spires are for damsels in distress. At least that's the word on the street. We've never actually tried to rescue one.

11 is louder than 10.


  1. Figured it was more interesting than attunements :-D.

  2. Sorry Rivs, Ful wins this one hands down.

    And no that is not because I am a warlock ;-)

  3. And Kbear specializes in hand positioning, Rivs... since she also plays a tree druid. If the hands are down, she would know.

    1. I play a bubble priest too! :D

    2. Pfft a Warlock conspiracy at it's best.

  4. lol... we do enjoy a good conspiracy.

  5. The reasons why disco priests are even better.
    10: Shadow Fiend. Basically I get mana for annoying you.
    9: Divine Aegis. Not only is he getting healed, he is getting a shield.
    8: Holy Nova. Heals your friends, hurts your enemies, all in one button.
    7: Pain Suppression. Why put up with pain?
    6: PW: Barrier. You didn't really want to fight on the flag did you?
    5: Borrowed Time. Haste junkie fun!
    4: nothing says GTFO like Psychic Scream.
    3. PW: Shield spam. Good luck killing anyone with that going on.
    2. Penance. It damages. It heals. It has a really short cooldown.
    1. Mind control + a cliff = endless PvP fun.

  6. Mind control off a cliff is pretty awesome, but you lost me at "healing."

  7. To quote Max Rockatansky, "You want to get out of here? You talk to me."
    Bonus points for getting the movie reference.

  8. Sadly, I needed Google for help. (I've not seen the movie.) I shan't ruin the bonus points for someone else though :-).

  9. You haven't seen it? Get thee to a nunnery!

    Funny thing the other day. I was talking in guild chat about Hans Gruber being one of the best movie villains and one of the teenage members was like, "Who is that?" I felt sooooo old. 'Die Hard' was Alan Rickman's Hollywood debut.

  10. My wife's maiden name was McClain. Fortunately, her father wasn't named John.