Friday, July 22, 2011

Revenge, Best Served Hot?

Fulguralis snagged the tortoise, spun it in his hands, and dropped it toward the ground.  Just before it hit, his foot came up and smacked it, sending it rocketing away.  It whistled as it flew, air speeding through the holes where arms and a head had once extended.  The current occupant of the shell was tucked safely inside, likely enjoying the flight.

It didn't have far to go.  As quickly as the whistle reached Fulguralis's ears, the shell smashed into a nearby fire elemental.  There was a loud pop, and the angry batch of flames winked out, collapsing into glowing coals.  The shell spun on the ground for a few seconds.  When it had stopped, a tiny head and four appendages popped out.  The tortoise looked back at Fulguralis and grinned - at least that was how the Warlock interpreted the expression - before tottering off toward the cool water on the other side of the path.

The tortoise looked a bit drunk.  That's what getting revenge will do for you, Fulgurlis thought.  'Tis a heady draught.

"Will you quit punting the turtles into bad guys!" Fuubaar yelled.  "We don't get credit for that."

Fulguralis turned to regard his wife.  He watched as she freed a turtle from a pile of ashes and then daintily kicked it into the water.  It made a pleasant plink on her boot.  He reached down and rubbed the sore spot on the top of his cloth boot.

"That is not what Mylune wanted us to do," she continued.

The Warlock shrugged, "Just killing two birds with one shell."

"No, the birds were yesterday.  And you didn't help them either... just let them swarm unaided."

"They looked angry."

"And the bear cub?"

"To be fair, the hound was sleeping."

"We're supposed to be helping these animals, not getting them in hot water," Fuubaar said.

The Warlock watched as a nearby Mage blinked in to snatch a turtle that had crawled up behind his wife, running away with barely contained glee.  As he attempted his escape, however, Sparky ran up and bit him on the butt.  The Mage yelped and dropped the shell, blinking away quickly.

Fulguralis walked over, picked up the shell, and kicked it into the lake.  "Happy?" he asked.

Fuubaar frowned.  "You're lucky you're cute," she said.

Fulguralis grinned.

Behind him the glowing coals roared back to life.  The Warlock turned and glowered.  The fire plane is so unruly these days, sending all these felling constructs into Azeroth.  

He was just about to fling a few spells at the thing when an acorn struck it in the head.  There was a pop and it collapsed back down.  Fulguralis retraced the path of the nut to a nearby tree.  He saw a squirrel there.  It was chattering excitedly while hefting another acorn in its little hand.  It tossed it once in the air as if to test its weight, and then caught it again.  The beady eyes on the animal met those of the Warlock.  Fulguralis swore he saw it salute, then hop away.  The Warlock couldn't help but shake the feeling that he'd achieved something.

"See?"  He turned to his wife.  "Even nature appreciates revenge."

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