Friday, July 1, 2011

Meanwhile, Across Azeroth...

"Did you hear about that nice little Orc that used to live down the street from us? He's getting married!"
"Oh yeah, to who... or should I say what?"
"You're so bad."

"I heard she was pregnant."
"Well, they say you can take the girl out of the Outlands, but you can't take the Outlands out of the girl."

"He got her a huge rock!  I mean have you seen the thing?"
"Yeah, what is it? Sandstone?"

"That's how them Orcs do it.  Runnin' around, splittin' themselves up, and all that.  It'll never last."

"Why couldn't he have found a nice, Light-fearing girl?"

"I heard Jaina was devastated.  Cried for days."
"Those were tears of joy."
"Never can tell with that one."

"Durotan is rolling is his grave."
"So is Taretha."
"Hey guys, that's low."
"I know, they're in graves."

"I heard he was born in a cage."
"She could do so much better."
"Yeah, like a free-range Tauren."
"Or a Belf.  They're so hawt."
"We are aren't we?"
"Like, totally."

"You know she's just in it for the power and glory."
"A total gold-digger for sure."
"But I thought he was poor now.  And just a simple Shaman."
"Psch.  No way.  Dude's crafty.  That's only what he wants her to think."

"Dear Aggra, watch out for the 'til death do us part, part.  It's not as contractually binding as you might think.  Get a prenup.  Hearts and moons, Sylvanas."

"I guess the mother-in-law wasn't too happy."

"Have you sheen her shister?"
"You mean Pip... Pyp... the Maid of Honorish?"
"Total babe... hic!"

"Hello, you've reached Aggra.  I can't come to the phone right now, likely because I'm dealing with some sort of elemental emergency and/or saving Thrall's cute butt.  Just leave a message after the tone and I'll listen to it in spirit.  No really, I can do that.  BEEP-"
"Hey Aggra, it's Moira.  Bronzebeard... well, Thaurissan now, o'course.  Heard the good news an' wanted ta give ya a call.  I mean, my wedding was SO PERFECT an' I jus' thought I could give ya some tips.  First, have a kid quick.  Trust me!  Then, pray fer a freak mining accident.  You got the rock, now get the throne!  If he likes it he shoulda put a throne on it.  Amirite? Also, try ta start a civil war.  Men fighting o'er you is SO CUTE.  When's the bachelorette party?!  Call me, bia, we need to chat."

"I heard she's getting a tusk-job for the wedding."
"Yo, mon.  Where you be gettin' one o' dose?"

"She's just so... black!"
"I know, Becky.  And he's green, get over it."
"Hey, King Varian!  Did you hear about Thrall and Aggra?"
"Kill 'em."

"Hey, Warchief!  Did you hear about Thrall and Aggra?"
"Kill 'em."

"So when are Jaina and Arthas gettin' hitched?"
"Too soon?"


  1. "I understand perfectly, Tyrande. Fighting hordes of elementals in their own planes is MUCH more difficult than waking someone up."