Friday, November 12, 2010

Screenshot or it Didn't Happen

Sparkie sits on the counter, nuzzling a turned over box of Flesh Flakes, and picking one up with his long tongue.  He looks over at the other minions sitting around the table, playing some sort of game.  There are colorful pieces on a cardboard square, and the sound of dice being thrown fills the room.
Midnight: Blast! I've acquired another spawn.  What if I've got no more holes in this large, plastic replica of a horseless carriage?
Berry Blue: Normally, they're referred to as children, Nighty.
Midnight: Spawn, children, same thing.  Why can't I have another of the big blue pegs again?
Berry Blue: You're only allowed one spouse in this game.  It's the rules, kid.
Midnight: Well, that's bollocks.  What sort of game is this anyways?
Pablo the Infernal reaches a boulder out to turn the box, singeing the corner.
Midnight: Pablo, you bloody idiot, you're burned the thing!
Pablo: Lee-fay.  The game de Lee-fay.
Berry Blue: That's life, brother.  Life.
Pablo: Lo siento.  Lifay.
Berry Blue: Close enough.
Midnight: More like Death-ay.  These bloody spawn are killing me.
Berry Blue: Yeah, you are broke as a joke.  Too bad you drew street musician as a profession instead of a chill doctor like me.  Six figures, baby.  Eaaaasy street.
Midnight: Can it, Blue.
Berry Blue: I'm just sayin'.  I've spent some time playin' on the street.  You do it for the music, not the money.  The looooove of the music.
Spaz, who was over at the window, suddenly bursts into an energized sprint.  He streaks across the room and leaps up onto the table, scattering the pieces everywhere.
Midnight: Bloody hell, what is it this time?
Berry Blue: Light almighty!  You done scattered the pieces errrvrywhere.
Spaz: Iknow-iknow-iknow! ButbutBUT, they're-back! MoremoreMORE!
Sparkie jumps off the counter and wanders over to the front door excitedly, tail wagging.
Berry Blue: Aw damn, more of them elementals?  Don't know what's worse, them or the earfquakes.
Midnight: Hey Blue, aren't these elementals your cousins? Why can't you simply call up your auntie and get them off our lawn?
Berry Blue: Man, shut up, Nighty.  Damn things are givin' a blue brother a bad name.  Spaz, make yourself useful and let the dog out.
Sparkie barks excitedly as Spaz zips over to the door and opens it, letting the felhound out.  Spaz follows the dog out the door, slamming it behind him.  Outside, a din of barking and frenzied yelling starts up as the two minions give chase.
Berry Blue: There, he'll tire himself out too.  Two cute pigeons, one smooth move.
Midnight: What in Kil'jaedan's name does that mean?
Berry Blue is about to answer as the door bursts open and a bulky Felguard struts in.
Pablo: Hola! Como estan?
Berry Blue: Who the fel are you?
Midnight: Hey there, big guy.
Deegee (yelling from a back room): Is that the pizza guy?  Can someone else pay him, I dunno where my wallet is!
Tim the Felguard blinks twice, then walks over to the table.
Tim: Hey, I'm the new guy.  Fulguralis mighta mentioned me? 
Berry Blue: Oh yeah, the Demonology cat.  Said you only come around on off days and such.  Cool, bro, pull up a chair.
Midnight: I'm Nighty, and you are?
Tim: There are some who call me... Tim?
Midnight: Tim the Felguard.  Sounds... mundane.
Tim: Sorry?
Pablo: Lo siento! Haha!
Berry Blue: Yes, yes Pablo, lo siento.  Tim, what's shakin'?
Tim: Well, Fulguralis sent me to look that wife of his.  He's heading to Dalaran now, said something about finding his sister.
Midnight: Right, right, the wife.  Forgot about her.
Berry Blue: You would.
Tim: Aaaanyways, I found her.  And you won't believe what she's up to.
Tim flops a picture out on the table.  The minions all look down and gasp.
Midnight: No. Way.
Berry Blue: Well, chief's not gonna like this.
Pablo: Lo siento, Jefe...
Berry Blue: Nighty, you'd better take this to him in Dalaran.
Midnight: Why me?
Berry Blue: He's been calling on you the most lately.
Midnight: Right, right.  Be back later, boys.
Tim: I'll go with her.  You know, just in case.
Berry Blue raises an eyebrow and watches as they both walk out the front door, leaving him behind with Pablo.
Berry Blue: Just me and you, eh Pabs?
Pablo: Si. Kiero tequila?
Berry Blue: Why not?
There's a loud thump at the door, followed by a shrill scream.
Berry Blue: Open it first, Spaz!
Spaz (muffled): Oh-yeahhhh.
Pablo: No bueno.


  1. Tim the Felguard, any relation to ... Tim the Enchanter, maybe? ^_^


  2. "Open it first, Spaz!"

    XD Omg, imps would TOTALLY do that. & yeah, no, phasing through it doesn't work, because they run around everything. XD XD XD XD