Monday, November 29, 2010

Pink Box... Giggity?

If that doesn't get me some nefarious Google searches, I don't know what will. Unfortunately for them, I have neither naked Succubus pics nor Thrall in a thong.  (I mean, he just met that girl and she's trying to get his clothes off, amirite?  Also... /shudder).  Nay, what I'm going talk about is much more mundane.  Well, maybe not if you're a prolific PvP'er like Cynwise.  

If you're a diligent 'lock follower, you may have already see this over there, but the short story is that Isle of Conquest is borked as shit.  And this is not like, "oh it's broken because we always lose, QQ."  No, this is legit breaking.  Like embarrassing pink box breaking.  That's like climbing out of a car wearing a skirt and no panties, embarrassing... at least in software terms.  Or something.

The omnipresent hangar issue was there, that's not what this is about either.  If you've played on the Isle in the last, oh, three months or so, you've probably been told very sternly not to go to the hangar.  It's been worthlessly broken for quite a while.  I remember my first time experiencing it.  Folks said "Avast ye! Go not to the hangar lest ye place thine soul in peril!"  Being a bad sailor, I just had to clicky.  What can I say?  I'm not a trusting sort.  I want to see it for myself.  Several moments later, and I found myself dead in some water area that wasn't near any sort of flying apparatus.  Yes, apparently the mages screwed up the portal.   Seemed like sabotage to me. 

The latest bug takes the lying cake though.  As far as mage shenanigans go, it's akin to moving the entire city of Dalaran and no even having the goddamn common courtesy to leave rubble or any sort of textured skin behind.  Not only does it suck, but it only affects the Alliance side of thing.  So it's Horde mages.  The worst kind of the worst.

(As far as tactics go, I'm rather jealous.  If our mages had come up with the "replace the gates with indestructible pink box" strat first, man we'd be sitting pretty.)

"A bug!" sayeth you?  "Working as intended," comes the reply.  At least until Cat and the resources free up to fix it, I suppose.  Until then, destroying a gate in order to gain entry to the Horde stronghold is only a farce of a strategy.  The pink herring, if you will.

I feel like I'm just not adequately describing how duped one feels when, upon finally battering the last batter that the gate can hold, a giant pink box appears.  Screenshot or it didn't happen... My first view was quite astonishing.  Imagine my surprise when the cry "the side gate hath fallen!" went up, and I hustle around the corner only to be confronted with this:

Umm, nice box?
I wanted to get an idea of the scope of this blockage, so I found a convenient nearby catapult and launched myself over it.  Quick thinking had me snapping a few pics in flight.  If you'll notice, my trajectory lands me outside the front gate... bad aim, but good pics!

This pink box needs a waxing.  That's no bush, it's whole tree!
Clever mages!  Not to be deterred (and because the BG was sort of degenerating at that point, as borked things have a tendency to do), we hustled down to the workshop.  We took that over, and grabbed a bunch of Demolishers, intent to destroy the front gate.  Maybe that would prove the avenue of our salvation.  But it was not to be.  The pink box trap was sprung there as well!

A pair of pink boxes.  You usually have to pay double for that action.
At this point, people are bemoaning all number of things in the battleground chat.  Mages are blamed.  Developers are blamed.  Blame is Chuck Norrised.  Hell hath no fury like a bunch of PvP'ers scorned. 

"TURTLE!" the cry went up.  We were, at this point, up about 100 reinforcements to 70ish.  Sounds good to me.  It's never a bad time to hop in the old mini-van and shoot pizzas at people.  Turtle power!  Splinter would have been proud.

Making haste our non-pink boxed gates, I found a maelstrom of activity.  Apparently the Horde had sensed their window of fun swiftly closing.  They decided to storm the keep.  They'd already captured our graveyard and the rallying cries went up.  However, it seemed like we'd be too late; they were already inside.  I ran as fast as I could, hoping against hope that I could get up into the keep to assist our commander. 

Sadly, as I sprinted into the keep courtyard, a scoresheet popped up.  Only 50 or so reinforcements short of victory, we must have been overwhelmed.  BUT WAIT!  It says Alliance victory!  What is this about?  I thought we were all back at the keep, eating pizza and practicing our skateboarding moves.  How did we achieve victory? 

If I had to guess, I'd say that a task force of airborne shock troops stormed their keep simultaneously and that somehow we downed the big guy first.  Considering the pains it took us to gain entry to their fort, I'd say it was only fair justice, but really I was more puzzled that we'd apparently catapulted that many people in.  (Catapulting being, naturally, our only way in).  More likely, though, the win/loss counter is borked as well and it actually meant to say we'd lost.  (Maybe our mages held the ultimate trump card). 

That may be pessimistic, but I was inexplicably 3-0 in Isle of the Conquest this weekend.  The pink box strat was only used in one of those attempts, the others were straight turtles to the max.  Which is where I must contradict poor Cynwise.  Apparently on Lothar in whatever battlegroup we're in now (is it still Ruin?), queuing up for IotC as Horde is a distinctly bad idea.  At least when I'm in the fray, that is.  I've yet to lose despite the odds being stacked against us. 

Really, I think the Horde just get distracted by the sheer effectiveness of the Pink Block Strat, and they forget that they still have to, you know, win.  That, or maybe it provides a unique rallying cry for the Alliance, plus some much needed direction.  It's a well known fact that in BG's, the more organized force usually wins.  That is, if you can work together, you stand a much better shot at a victory.  As far as the Alliance in IotC, we're being forced to work together.  It's not like we have options, as Cyn points out.  Docks and Turtle, that's it.  See what happens when Alliance actually plays together?  We're invincible! (/twirls pen)

At least until those crafty mages come up with another crazy strat.  Maybe the Blue Exploding Boat At the Docks Strat.  Then we'll be really pissed, and no amount of Blaming The Dude That Capped Hangar will save us.  


  1. Gotta love the pink box google tags. I say they lost the model the the zep. We had the pink box show up for the worgen female model in beta for the longest time.

  2. Female pink box? Ya don't say... :-)

  3. Docks and Turtle, the new IoC strat. I love it.

    Back to IoC I go! Being disproven never felt so good!

  4. Yeah, if you google pink and google purple it looks more like a shade of purple than pink.