Thursday, May 6, 2010

Those Mages and Their Silly Get Rich Quick Schemes

This has gone on long enough. Yes, the mages are getting uppity again and I feel like I must correct some key misconceptions on the finer points of Warlockery and the lore thereof.

Good Mr. pin-up used to sell our 10 step program?"  (credit:

Illidan Stormrage was only ever a mage, and a failed one at that.  Look it up, and trust me, Warlocks take no ownership of the fabled demon hunter, except when we're talking kill shots.  (Besides, he later went into the field of demon hunting and we're all about demon harnessing).

So is your aim to convert Warlocks into being Failmages?  I'm confused here.

And who might your pin-up be?  Who does the Kirin Tor trumpet as their most specialest mage?  Currenty... Jaina Proudmoore.  Congratulations!  You are all whimpy, blubbering girls that get other people killed because you can't come to grips with reality.

And you want me to join your program for what?  To court depression at my powerlessness to change or help those I care about hurting?

Heck the very definition of Warlocks are as Mages who are "in pursuit of ever-greater sources of power" (credit:  Yes, we want MOAR POWAH.  Not more blubbering power, mind you, but more power to kill.  Power to shape the world around us to our liking.

And who are some notable, former Mages that have seen the Dark (get it? GET IT?)... Do the names Medivh and Gul'Dan (ya know, who opened the Dark Portal?  Hell of a port if I do say so myself) or Kael'thas (The Betrayer and original Blood Elf) or Kil'jaeden (The Supreme Commander of The Burning Legion)... do any of those ring a bell?  I mean these are folks that have rained death and destruction upon millions and whose actions echo down through the ages.  With success stories like these, why would we be enticed anywhere else?

The best you've got is Kel'Thuzad, and I think we all know what a putz he was. (credit:

So, I'm sorry to say that I think I'll have to pass on your much vaunted 10-step program.  I really just don't see the benefit.  If I wanted to be second rate, I'd go roll a Hunter, tyvm.  As it is, I rather enjoy my place, firmly ensconced on the top of the meters.  All of them.

Thanks, but no thanks, Mr.


  1. lol - thanks for this. :) As a mage with a brother that plays a warlock, your and Gnomeaggeden's blogs always make for a fun evening on vent. :)

  2. Ty. Despite his mage ways, I'm pretty fond of Gnomeagaggedon's blog too. :-)

  3. I don't want to be a Warlock.. I consider Warlocks to be my pets... pets that have pets... win-win ;-)