Wednesday, February 10, 2010

'Locks Can Heal Too

So it's finally gotten to me. I'm pissed because I never got tagged for this whole Ring of Healers crap that Jessabelle @ Miss Medicina cooked up.  I'm probably, like, the best 'lock healer there is, and I never get a tag.  Not only that, but 'lock healers were woefully underrepresented in the webring.  Then the webring was revisited and Jbelle took the "high road" playin' all like she doesn't "do memes" and junk.  Unfortunately for her, this sorta-kinda opened the door for me to respond as if I had responded in the first place.  Which is what I'm going to do.  I will be silent no longer, though it may shatter some illusions of her own personally fleeting awesomeness since, like, the truth will be told that I am in fact the ONLY healer in our raid group.  I mean, sure she sets it up wonderfully with things like "class synergies" and "balance", but really, no one cares about that crap.  I've always maintained a group of 10 warlocks would be the best approach to any fight, and really you only need one, especially if you can heal as well as I can.

(Did I mention the real reason Jbelle switched to Disc was because she couldn't stand seeing me power-of-ten her on the HPS meters and needed an excuse like "well I'm preventing damage so you don't see my HPS accurately reflected... yadda yadda WoLspreadsheet yadda."  Well I CREATE MOAR DAMAGE so that I can heal MOAR, as any good healer should do. DIAF, what do I care?  All of my spells have a chance to proc a b-rez.)

In any case, I pulled a copy of the questions from Tam's site, cuz there was no way I could stoop down low enough to pull them from Jbelle herself.  After spending at least three days clearing out all the humorous and thought-provoking crap that he'd written in there (I mean, the guy is certainly long-winded even if loquacious.  His WPT meter (that's Words Per Thought) rivals my own HPS in terms of awesomeness.  And, like my own heals... every damn one of them REEKS OF QUALITY.  He is to blogging what 'locks are to heals), after those forty days and forty nights of word clearing, I put in my own answers.

The New Questions:

1. Reread your original answers to the questions. With the benefit of hindsight, score your own work in terms of its cringeworthiness.
My work is always amazing. Even invented words like "cringeworthiness" can describe my heals.  That is, if you mean a "cringe of win".  Myself, I focus more on the "worthy" part, of which all other healing classes are not... worthy.  You are not worthy.  If there is one thing I do poorly, it is not being proud enough as a 'lock healer. After talenting into Siphon Life and Haunt for jollies, I've been seeing Haunt overheals as low as 100%.  I just can't get it to go any lower, but that's what happens when you're all win.  Humility is for chumps.

2. Has your class’s healing improved in the area you identified as its weakest?
Can you be buffed from perfect to more perfect?  If so, 'lock healers were.  Of course, since we didn't really have a healing "weakness" so to speak, all our our healing strengths were buffed.  Like making Superman immune to Kryptonite.  Hellfire, Life Tap... huge buffs to offset our heals to let us heal more.  Other healers will love what I bring to the healing table.  Huge healing potential.  Cash Money.

3. Have you changed your “least favored class to heal with”?

(I changed from favoured because I'm not sure what that word translates to here in the States.   Scholars have debated for years about it, but I think the question makes more sense if we look at the favored class and not some crazy made-up word that no one knows what it means.)

Hunters, definitely.  Before I think I said Mages, but hunters are my least favorite healing partner.  They have like, another pet and junk and do that crappy feign death thing that doesn't allow me to over heal them more and pad my stats.  It's all about topping the charts, and they're uber self-conscious about losing to a Warlock.

4. Did you read the entries from others in the webring, especially your class?
No. Why would I need the help of other healer classes?  What do you think this is about, building a community?  Pscheah... as if.  l2webring nubs.

5. If Yes to #4, did you learn anything that made you a better healer?
Even though I said "no", I'm going to answer this because I'm not going to be gipped a damn question due to simple honesty.  If there is one thing I learned, and only one thing, mind you, it's that I need to stack more hit as a healer.  Hit never goes out of style and it's on EVERYTHING.  Jbelle taught me about the importance of hit as healer... and by taught I mean she only reminded me that I already knew it cuz I know everything there is to know about healers.  Board it.

6. What tools/resources or information do you think you would need to improve as a healer and how could that help the community at large?
I need a meter that counts higher.  Recount sometimes just freaks out with my abnormally large HPS.  Plus, the combat log can't handle my awesomeness. It just pukes saying things like "A more powerful spell is active" and "working as intended" and "72 hour ban for healing with seige weapons".  I can't help it that all of my spells do seige heals.  I'm building walls, not bubbles.  Bubbles can pop. 

7. What did you identify as your worst habit as a healer? Have you improved in this area?
If you call winning at everything forever a bad habit, then that's it.  I've improved by letting some others share the spotlight from time to time.  Like every now and then I life tap to trick Jbelle into throwing a bubble on me (like any mob would ever have the audacity to attack me!), which I then pop and use her tears to fuel my own heals.  That's just how it works though.  Lock heals run on the tears of Priests.  You heard it here first.

8. What did you list as your favorite healing spell and your least used healing spell for your class? Are these answers still true? If they have changed, what caused the change (i.e. patch fix, different healing environment, etc)?
My favorite healing spell is the under 5% health life tap.  Since healing is not really the issue, it's really fun to see how much you can freak out the other healers before you swoop back in and carry all of them to victory.  I think last time I listed Hellfire Suicide for it's gear durability damage avoidance purposes, but since my heals have now been patched to also heal durability, the utility is just no longer needed.  I mean, your gearscore is higher when your durability is topped off, so you gotta keep that shit up anyways.  Life Tapping below 5% is a purely frivolous joyride for all healers.

9. I made up this question so that I have one more question than everyone and thus win at questioning.  The question is: If you had to say one thing to the creator of the original webring, what would you say?
Welcome to the jungle, baby.

(Note: No braincells were harmed in the making of this post as none were used.)


  1. Amen. I was happy to point out in a recent 25-man voa, that as a lock, I was out-healing some of those calling themselves "healers". I haven't quite duplicated your skill, but I keep coming back for more.

  2. Thought-provoking crap, I love it :P

    Today was especially text-wally - I am such a bad blogger :( I think I got carried away.

    Also I have several op trinkets that boost my WPT...

  3. As a fellow lock - I second this post

  4. Ha, thanks guys. It was a crazy day and deserved a crazy post.

    Tam - Glad you appreciated it. I thought you would. I think your WPT trinkets have a couple day cooldown, but when you pop them... :-D. I always have the feeling of "why am I still reading this?" but in like, a good way if that makes sense. I mean it's totally the definition of wall o' text, but I'm entertained at the same time, which means the writing makes up for the length. I tease Jess all the time about the same thing.