Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Legend of the Pit Pwners

We were but five adventurers. Already, one dungeon had fallen to our onslaught: Gundrak. Of course, that dungeon was approached in a more traditional manner.  You see, sometimes, when things aren't well planned out by the leader (coughmecough), you may find yourself later in a bit of a bind.

We were but five adventurers: One with a Pally and a Priest.  One a Hunter, one a Warlock.  Another Pally.  And me, a Death Knight or Warlock.  Between us, we had but one healing spec.  Gundrak witnessed the Priest, the Pally, two Locks, and a Hunter.  Traditional, like I said, and we rolled the place.  In fact, between the Priest and I, we made it somewhat of a game to see if we "accidentally" pull and get our tank friend to pull off of us before our bubbles ran out.  I'm sure he appreciated it.

We were but five adventurers, all from the same guild.  This is important, because not only are these people I know, but also they're people that know me enough to trust in my judgment.  We weren't randomly throwing things together, these were coordinated attacks.  Or so we thought.  Then, having completed the first random dungeon, desire was expressed for a second run so those of us with two toons could get the daily done on both.  The Priest (Fuu) switched to her Pally, and I my Death Knight. 

We were but five adventurers, four DPS and one tank.  No healers.  No healing off-specs.  No healing gear.  No healing experience (on the toons we'd brought).  We could have asked Fuu to suck it up and heal again.  We could have just dropped one and picked up a friend with a heal spec.  We could have gone about it the traditional way.  But nay, said I.  We can do this.  We don't need no stinking heals!  We were two Paladins, a Death Knight, a Hunter, and a Warlock.

We were but five adventurers who drew Pit of Sauron, randomly.  The second toughest dungeon currently possible.  A wave of fear swept through our able bodies.  Yet, persevere we would, it was decided.  Give in to convention we would not.  We were going to do this sans heals.  This wasn't about foolish pride or a scientific experiment.  This was about the thrill of the challenge.  The Azerothian gods had hurled at us a herculean task, who were we to toss it back, unaccepted?  Unrewarded?  

We were but five adventurers, but we had a plan: everyone take care of themselves.  With one Paladin tanking, the other could help throw an occasional heal to supplement her own healing.  The Warlock could Drain Life.  The Death Knight could Death Strike.  The Hunter could... do whatever it is that Hunters do.  We would survive.  We had all our lives to live, and all our love to give.  We would survive.  Yeah, yeah. 

We were but five adventurers as we made our first pull.  The skeletal monstrosity limped towards us, and with a shower of sparks from metal meeting shield, we were off.  Almost immediately, a patrol ambushed us from behind while another skeletal monstrosity lumbered magically up a cliff to join the fray.  We were swiftly and soundly defeated.  Yet Azeroth is not without its second chances.  We would not be deterred by troubled beginnings.  Many an epic hero hath started out from such humble roots.  "Let's not do that again," decried the Ret Pally upon our collective revival.

We were but five adventurers, tempered by an unfortunate fall.  We pulled again.  This time, success.  We made another pull, and another, and another.  Waves of enemies fell before our blades as sweat began to bead on our brows.  It was not easy, it was not hard.  It was.  We pulled some old tricks out of our dusty spellbooks, Laying Hands on this and Frost Trapping that, and when we looked up, we had reached our first boss.  He was bigger than big, and when engaged him, he smote the party with mighty party-wide damages.  Yet when the dust cleared, he was face down and four of us were alive. 

We were but five adventurers, now saved to this instance.  In much the same manner we defeated the construct with the Gnome on its poisonous shoulders.  Avoiding damage became as important as dealing it, and we excelled at both.  Jaina came down to congratulate us after that second boss fell, and once again four of us stood at the end.  We regrouped and prepared for some of the toughest pulls in the dungeon.  We used Paladin Repentance and Hunter Traps and Death Knight Silences to attack these challenging groups of enemies.  For each pull we made, we lost at least one of our own, but we never were defeated.  The sweat was now running in rivulets down our faces, but our fingers were dry and our mind's eyes sharp.

We were but five adventurers as we faced the gauntlet.  There was no swift grouping of many mobs in the middle, there was only a slow, steady slogging that led inexorably towards the exit.  Once, upon reaching the middle platform, a quick rez was thrown, but otherwise we were untouchable.  We dodged the falling ice even as we exited the hellacious tunnel, finishing off the last of the rabble before Tyranus belittled our own companions.  By now, the Light of the conclusion of the dungeon had begun to brighten our glistening faces.  The end was near, we need only beware of the Overlord's Mark.

We were but five adventurers, all five alive, when the final boss fell.  The scant reward of emblems and gold did not seem to do justice to the struggle we'd just overcome, yet cheers could be heard over vent.  Our smiles, laughter, and suspended disbelief were their own rewards, and they were plentiful.  We had done what we thought impossible.  Were we the heroes to end all heroes?  No.  But for that one moment, we might as well have been. 

There were not achievements or announcements to mark the occasion.  The gorge did not suddenly close it's gates and Jaina did not give me so much as a kiss.  Fanfare did not herald our arrival back in Dalaran.  In fact, business went on pretty much as usual.  I believe one guildy said "nice".  That was all there was.  We did not get a title or even a usable piece of gear.  Yet, for the five of us, something special happened last night.  We, the Pwners of the Pit, did what was thought "not even remotely imaginable".

The moral of this story is not that we were overgeared, overskilled, or overly lucky.  The lesson is not that healers are unnecessary.  The goal is not to e-peen.  What you should take from this epic tale of five adventurers is that, in this World of Warcraft, the challenges are only what we make of them.  Your most treasured achievements may not result in special points or hard currency.  No, the best times are the times we spend with friends, throwing convention somewhat to the wind, and leveling mountains with our digital prowess.  And isn't that what makes this game of ours truly epic?

As the sun sets on our tale today, I hear a voice cry out from the wilderness: "Screenshot or it didn't happen." 

The Pwners of the Pit


  1. Prime took a dirt nap more times than I believe all of us combined.

    Poor kitty...

    I'm pretty sure Opti is going to have to find a new cat to do his bidding.

    Prime is now on Vacation!

  2. LoL, this sounds like fun, next time you guys wanna go all crazy and do something this challenging pst me! O, and sorry Fuu about being so distracted while filling your pyrite, I hope I wasn't too much of a problem, couldn't get off the phone =)