Wednesday, June 3, 2009

It's a Jump To Conclusions Mat

(edit: I realized I should probably point out that this introductory part is from Ful...) I'm really angry at work today. Like warlock on neth (like meth, only WoWized) angry. Like "oh that's why the horse's hooves are on fire" angry. Like I jumped from a ledge only to have my minion take the long way around and bring an angry mob angry. Like a mage beat me on the charts angry. Like the devs nerfed the hell out of chaos bolt angry (not that I care since I'm affliction, but from what I understand, that's pretty angry). Like someone's been using an alias to write and impersonate me online angry (wait, maybe that's not so angry since the only angry people seem to be the commenters). Like why the hell are you starting every sentence with like and using an increasing amount of parenthetical remarks angry (because, damnit, parenthesis = snarky side comments that illustrate the angry).

Because of all that, I vented to Fuu. Now, the angry has been building over the week from green, to yellow, to red, to purple, and Fuu had tried to cheer me up with some referential WoW humor earlier in the week. I had to resort to rereading it repeatedly this morning to calm myself down after the usual morning meetings at Initech. I think we're even getting some "Bob's" soon. So, to share, here's what she sent me:

Recipe for Turning a Droopy Project into an Epic Project that makes Tons of Gold.

Ingredients:

1 Cup of Win
2 Tablespoons of Sweat
2/3 cup Time
a dash of Purple Dye

First you round up 10 of your best buddies and head into your office. You make a game plan to conquer the Beast. You must at this time treat this project like if you fail, you will die at the hands of the Boss. Pull out a calculator and estimate your winning percentage( 33.3% repeating of course) is a minimum required % to continue from this point. Once your goal is met & there is a solid Game Plan, continue to pour the Sweat & Time into this project. While mixing both Sweat & time together, slowly add Win to the project. During this time, the project will start to randomly drop aggro and could 1 shot you if you aren't careful. Once the entire cup of Win is added, you should see the end of the project. Add the dash of Purple Dye and you lad have yourself an Epic!

2 comments:

  1. I never knew Fuu was such a rockin' cook. XD

    I have an RP post sitting (with 5 other posts) in my drafts box on my blog. Maybe hearing about me trying to dps will cheer you up?

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  2. Fuu's been having some "me" time at home this morning so don't freak out if I'm not answering your emails from work.

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