Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Warlock Resolutions

I, Fulguralis, vow to no longer do the following:
  • Shadowflame small defenseless critters.
  • Openly celebrate when allies in a dungeon bite it.
  • Berate my Imp in public.
  • Play fetch with my Felpup using live things.
  • Set fire to the orphanage in SW.
  • Criticize that crazy Paladin's pet collection.
  • Spit on Horde after pwn'ing them.
  • Enjoy the questionable WoW torture quests.
  • Shadowflame other players and be disappointed when they don't die and thus I can't openly celebrate.
  • Hit on belf chicks even though I can't speak their language.
  • Prolong duels by fearing without putting DoTs up, just to annoy the Mage.
  • Scoff at mages for no reason other than they're mages.
  • Be so openly cocky.
  • Create mount envy by riding around on my Dreadsteed and laughing at the rest of you lesser classes.
  • Cut myself to cast extra spells, or just to annoy that silly Priest.
  • Take my Succubus out to the bars with me... somehow I think that always ends up playing in her favor.
  • Drink during dungeons to make them more interesting.
  • Wish flame would take hold of all those damned talking, walking trees. I mean, they are wood after all.
  • Only cast detect invisibility AFTER a shade has revealed itself in Naxxramas.
  • Gleefully curse in public, both vocally and... otherwise.
  • Use my elder's moonstones to freak out all of the idiots waiting impatiently for the portal to Wintergrasp to open (only because I have no more).
  • Put up a summoning stone and then run away because: "hey, I did my part."
  • Open up with a Soul Fire on Gothik the harvester because I can finally find an excuse to cast it.
  • Hate the rest of that fight because the stupid things die too quickly.
  • Laugh when the green flames consume someone, and feel a bit envious that my flames aren't green.
  • Use my portal at the bank because I'm too lazy to run back out.
  • Try not to be so evil when....

Wait... who the hell am I kidding. I'm a Warlock, biatches! April Fool's THIS!

*Shadowflame in yo' face*

*Turns to the right*

Give me some sugah, baby.

*Whip Crack*

*Heads towards bar*


  1. Wait, I thought Fuu was a pally, not a succubus. ;P (and she should be /whipcrackin' you, Mister!)

  2. Syrana no, he takes that thing everywhere & makes fun of my Pet collection apparently.

    ful, if you happen to find that succubus strung up by her own whip in that bar, dont be shocked.


  3. @ Syrana - Easy there, tiger lol.

    @ Fuu - Its OK. He can always summon a new one =D.

    Ever try taking a Felguard to a zoo? Never ends well.

  4. hahaha

    Hmm, I was just referred to as a consort of the under world (on Twitter) after Sideshow said Warlocks don't sleep.

    Maybe I should take -my- succy to the bar...

  5. I felt a bit left out.

    Bear bristles his fur.
    "Oh, you needed a healer?"
    Respec tree. Switch gear.