Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Don't Get Mad, Get Even

If you read Big Bear Butt, you may have read his recent challenge to the blogosphere general populace when he shared a funny tale of asshatery and idiocity, and asked for other stories to be shared as well.

As you may or may not know, asshatery is a topic that I feel strongly about. It comes in many forms and WoW is just one of the places it has clustered as of late.

In thinking of an appropriate story to answer this challenge, I found myself circling around one central theme: Don't get mad, get even. So I wanted to take the challenge a step further and suggest ways to steal your fun back.

That is NOT to say: "just gank bank." Oh no, if you thought that I am advocating a course of action that would cause MORE people to wear an ass on their heads and parade around proudly, you would be mistaken. Please give me a second to explain what I mean.

You see, there are really two types of hats these asses wear:

  1. The "Center of the Universe" Hat - This person just believes they are better and more important than you. Their mothers never taught them how to share, and they can't really fathom that someone else may be upset over their actions because, hey, the world is their burrito. The good news is, if you just are patient and let this person get on with it, they're not gonna mess around with you for very long because you really don't exist.
  2. The "I Stole Your Fun" Hat - This person delights in other's misfortunes. For some strange reason, they take a sick pleasure out of ruining your fun. These are usually the worst kind of asshat, because they will torture you as long as possible to try steal the MOST amount of fun that they can.

So then, with this understanding we can begin to combat asshatery where it begins. Basically, the goal here is to aim to create something fun FOR YOU out of an "unfun" situation. To better explain, let me share some examples. It is probably important to note that I am on a PvE server, so I can't just, you know, kill them.

First, during a recent excursion into the Tundra, a quest required the hunting of orcas. Thus, I jumped into the bay area and swam towards some of the big fish. Another individual saw me coming and hurried to swim around and hit every single one of the fish in the area (there were only like four and they had quite the head start on me). Now, I'm not complaining that they took SOME of the orcas, but they could very easily have shared at least ONE. With the spawn rates being what they are, by the time they kill a couple I'm sure there will be more. Why act like an asshat?

So here's what I did: I just calmly swam right into the middle of this individual's scrum and unleashed a Howl of Terror. This of course sent all the orcas running wild and resulted in the asshat having to chase them down (being a melee class). I even amused myself further by chain fearing one of them just for the heck of it. It was funny, fun for me, and I didn't have to resort to ganking. In fact, after that first round this person stayed in their section and let me have my own area of water to "fish" in. Maybe they learned something, maybe not, but at least I had fun.

A second such experience occurred in that same area, but on a different day for me. You see, if you haven't done it, there is a quest that requires you to go save a bunch of baby murlocs. Said murlocs will then follow you around for a period of time. These babies can be highly contested at times as there are not a lot of cages for the 20 you need to save. There is another quest in that area requiring you to don a murloc costume and go kill something. I was doing the costumed part, but this individual did not know that. They saw me clearing out the room in preparation to go on to the next part and hurried to try and "cut me off" to get all the murlocs first. Now, this person may have just been competing, but the fact that they already had quite a crew of murlocs led me to believe that they were trying to rush through this quest at the expense of others.

So, while they were gathering their tadpoles, I finished the guy in the next room and returned to this individual while wearing my murloc suit. I proceeded to follow him around as he completed his quest just like I was one of the murlocs in his bevy. Every once in a while he would stop, turn around, look at me like: "is this guy serious?" I was. I probably followed him for a good ten minutes before the suit wore off. It was quite humorous for me as I'm sure it bewildered him and others.

Again, I just made something fun out of the situation. I mean, it IS a game after all. And those suits are pretty darn funny. Especially if you dance or jump in them. Try it, trust me on this.

The point here is that you don't have to "let them win" and get angry. Chances are, there are things you can do to make the situation fun for you, even if it doesn't advance your quest. Take the fun back! If they're wearing hat #1, they're not gonna notice anyways, and if they're wearing hat #2, you've just retaken what was stolen from you. Either way, YOU'RE still having fun and that's the main point, right? Especially if others giggle at your silliness too, AND you haven't had to lower yourself to the level of a hat wearer.

So next time you're in that situation, try to come up with some clever ways to make the situation fun. Maybe you follow them around for 10 minutes like you're their personal healer to mystify them like: "Maybe they think they're in my group or something. Is this person crazy?". Or shadow them and /cheer after every kill like a groupie: "Hey! You're the man! You're so amazingly GOOD at GANKING!". Or my personal favorite: if the individual happens to be a paladin and is dropping consecrates (cause who doesn't love to pick on pallies?), run around on your horse picking up mobs and "drop them" right in their aura. See how good they really are, while "helping" them finish quicker. If they're good enough, they won't mind, or you can always dance on their dead body when you bring them an giant elite: "I thought you wanted them ALL." :-)

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